Lessons

1. Family is chosen: I chose mine this year. My younger self has tears of joy streaming down her face because of it.

2. I am how I project myself: If I am not being the truest version of myself, I am seeking validation for the things that I am not. Why would I ever want that?

3. Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely.

4. I am a speck of dust: I like to think of this phrase when I get anxious about what people might think of me. If I wear that skirt, if I talk like this, if I laugh so loud, it doesn’t matter. Because I am just a speck of dust in the grand scheme of things, and so are you.

5. Wear ya damn sunscreen: Learned that one the hard way and ouch.

6. Some things don’t need to be earned: I deserved better. I didn’t need to earn that.

7. Everyone grieves differently.

8. Silence can be comforting: I still think silence is scary. But I’m learning that I don’t always have to talk. There doesn’t always have to be music or noise. It’s not too bad when your thoughts are all you have.

9. Never underestimate the power of navy sheets: They’ll get ya.

10. CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN: The time and energy I have spent trying to change things or people that were never capable of changing was a waste.

11. Some teachers are worth a chewed piece of gum: “Teaching is hard, they’re trying their best.” If their best is making me cry every Wednesday, it can’t be that hard.

12. I don’t need the biggest places to feel the biggest feelings: Sometimes I just need a small town to bring me joy and comfort.

13. It’s unhealthy to expect people to act the way I do: To accept that people will react differently to a situation, is to accept that there are different ways to feel in a given situation. And none are right in absolute.

14. All the things I wish for myself will come when I am not wishing for them: Friends, more than friends, a job, success, stability, all of it. Basically, when I’m focused on the present, not dreaming about what could and should, those things will arrive.

15. Nature is healing.

16. Parties are fun with the right people, and they’re hell with the wrong ones: Self-explanatory.

17. Hard work always delivers.

18. If I feel stuck, I need to take a break: It can be difficult when you’re writing a final due the next day that’s worth half of your grade to step back and go for a walk, but I probably would’ve gotten an A in Linguistics if I had.

19. Rushing is normal: I’m 18! It’s okay to not want to stop and smell the flowers when there are a million things going on. It never hurts though.

20. Balance is key.

21. This too shall pass: When it seems like there will never be a way out, something or someone (sometimes yourself) will be your way out. It’s never the end.

22. Love should always surround us: To give and to receive love is soul-cleansing and heart-healing. As long as I am giving love, I will get it, and as long as I am getting love, I must give it. In the words of my good friend Maya McLeroy, “Love is the most powerful thing I have and I must love fiercely, softly, unabashedly because love’s the type of thing that can never run out.”

Resolutions

1. Excercise: Cliche? Yes. Still gotta do it.

2. Make more: There is nothing as satisfying as a good creative project. Yes, a tik tok you make with your friends every time you go out counts.

3. Focus on what feels good as well as what looks good.

4. Show the people that you love more love: It’s easy to get comfortable with people and forget to be kind and love them, but I need to avoid getting to that point with the people that matter to me.

5. Network.

6. Be honest with myself: I need to hover above myself more often, look at the things I do and say objectively, and tell myself what I need to stop doing or do more of.

7. Stop talking to people that take more than they give: Accepting unreciprocated effort is out. Knowing your worth is in.

8. Listen more.

9. Dance in the rain. Pet a dog. Give someone a makeover. Belt a song. Cuddle. Comfort someone. Send a nice text. Watch New Girl on Hannah’s bed. Tell someone how I feel about them. Give someone a chance. Be vulnerable. Buy someone a coffee. Give a stranger a hug.

10. Spend less money: Seriously, we don’t have that much to go around.

11. Talk to teachers, and adults in general, more.

12. Ask more questions: Communication is everything. I’m going to be in close quarters with a lot of people for the next year. It doesn’t hurt to ask, “Does it annoy you when I do this? Do you want to do this more often? Is there anything I can do to help?”

13. Refine my vocabulary: Slay, baller, iconic, lit, wack, bruh. They need to go, honey, it’s enough.

14. More sarcasm. It’s hilarious.

15. Build a better relationship with food and hunger.

16. Make a routine and follow it: Having class only two days a week over the span of 10 hours calls for some stability over the week. Work out, shower, lunch, break, study, tennis, clean, party. Write it down. Do not give up on it. This better last past February.

17. Complain less: Can I get a “first world problems”? Shut up about it.

18. Follow the news and journalism more.

19. Stop freaking out about “embarrassing yourself”: You’re only embarrassing yourself by missing out.

20. Be proud of yourself: 2022 was a year of imposter syndrome and doubt in myself and my work. 2023 will be the year of recognizing my talents and efforts while continuing to work on them.

21. Take constructive criticism (and just criticism) better: You’re not perfect. Breathe. Take it in. Then get back to work.

22. Be outwardly grateful.

23. Find success in all aspects of life: This year, I’m looking to find the best version of myself. I want to put out my best work, have the best relationships and friendships, make progress, grow, fail, succeed, achieve things, reach my goals, and flourish. No excuses. It begins today.